She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
