We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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