No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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