Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
