Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
