I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
