I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
