I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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