That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
