you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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