Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
