You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
