She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i believe in u and ur pee
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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