Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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