glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
