i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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