so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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