and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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