Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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