i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
