he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
