I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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