Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
