Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Randomize
