well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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