when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
