you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
