I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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