nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
