I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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