Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
