Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
