i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so let's talk penis.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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