She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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