My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
