Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
