id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
