woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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