i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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