they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
