Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
