he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
