I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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