he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize