forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
