is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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