i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
