Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
