My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
