You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
