If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
