wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
