A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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