Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
