I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
