I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
