Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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