She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i think my cat just said my name.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
