I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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