This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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