just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize