Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have tasted many bathrooms
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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