Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Life is so much better after having sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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