His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize