I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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