So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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