it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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