The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
