Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
