ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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