Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
