We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
